


the problem with portals

by Phoebmonster



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, F/F, Mentions of Sex, based off a Tumblr post I made, i havent written comedy for so long its nice, suprisingly soft and domestic avalance, this is just crack tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 19:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16604420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoebmonster/pseuds/Phoebmonster
Summary: the 5 times the Legends portal into Ava's home to fetch Sara(i made a tumblr post, it got out of hand)





	the problem with portals

**Author's Note:**

> dw if you haven't seen the tumblr post, this is basically just an extension of it anyway
> 
> i wrote this in like two hours and it's unbeta'd so ... enjoy

//1\\\  
The magic detector flashed, the needle jumping up and down, and Zari just glared at it as the rest of the team filtered into the Captain's office.

"Yes! I've been waiting to fight monsters with you guys again." Nate said, turning to give Ray a high five. It was a Saturday, and with the day off, he's come back to the Waverider to have some bro - time. "Where's Cap?"

"Ava's house." Zari said with a sigh. "Someone's gotta go get her."

"Not me." Ray piped up. "I don't wanna walk in on them ..." He trailed off, but his hands twisted, and he raised his eyebrows. Everyone understood what he meant.

"At 3pm? Really?" Nate said. Everyone looked at him. "No, yeah, I see it now."

"I'm not going either." Zari said, folding her arms. "I'm not getting in Sara's bad books."

"Me either." Mick grunted, eyes fixed on the football game. "I'm busy.”

"I can go." Constantine said as he swaggered into the office. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Zari made a gagging sound, and Nate just shook his head. "No way. Ava will straight up kill you if you walk in on them. Like, just kill you right away. No hesitation."

Constantine shrugged. "Fair point."

"We could send Charlie?" At Ray's suggestion, everyone shook their heads. 

"Too risky. She's still not really engaged with this whole ... team work thing." Zari said. "Look, how about we draw straws? Then at least it's fair."

The team nodded, and after a quick trip to the fabricator, Zari held 5 straws in her hand. Each Legend picked and held them out. Zari groaned. "Fine. I'll go. But if I'm scarred for life by this, I'm blaming all of you."

She portalled into what she hoped was Ava's hallway. Hopefully they would at least be in the bedroom. Zari stepped through, admiring how sleek the decor was. Ava was definitely the most put together of anyone she knew. She emerged into the living room and gaped. On the couch, Ava was sat, head lolling against the back, fast asleep. Sara was curled against her chest, hand clutching at Ava's shirt, legs stretched along the length of the couch, partially covered by a fluffy dark blue blanket. The TV was on, showing they were watching Brooklyn Nine Nine. Zari pulled out her phone as quietly as possible and took a picture. 

She coughed loudly. Ava woke up suddenly, sitting rigidly upright, causing Sara to be dumped rather unceremoniously onto the floor with a squeal. She sat up, and both fixed Zari with matching death-glares.

"The magic detector went off." Zari said quickly. "We need you on the ship."

"Fine." Sara mumbled. Her hair was sticking up in a strange way, and one side of her face had a red mark where she'd been pressed into Ava's chest. "Give me a minute." 

Zari decided it was best to wait in the hallway. When Sara appeared, she was still glaring. "Tell no one." She whispered, in a voice that normally had men quaking in their boots. Zari just grinned.

"Sure, I won't tell the team their captain has afternoon naps -"

"I can and I will tell Gideon to never make donuts again. Is that what you want?"

Zari didn't reply, just opened a portal and stepped through, still grinning.

// 2 \\\

It was the next Saturday when it happened again. Zari point blank refused, Mick claimed he was busy and Constantine was nowhere to be found, so Nate and Ray had a highly tense game of rock-paper-scissors to see who would go. Nate lost.

"Best of three?" He said hopefully, but Ray just laughed and walked away.

Nate opened the portal into what he hoped was Ava's hallway, but he stepped into the upstairs bathroom. Voices were filtering in from downstairs, which became clearer as he crept along the corridor to the top of the stairs.

"No, the recipe says 3 ounces of plain flour. That's self raising."

"Same thing Aves."

"No! They are very much not the same thing -"

Ava was cut off, and as Nate peeked over the banister of the stairs, he saw why. Sara had wiped a line of the chocolate mixture across her cheek.

"Oh, so that's how it is?" Ava said with a smirk, before she dipped her finger into the mixture and moved to do the same, but Sara quickly grabbed her wrist and licked the mixture off instead, with a tiny moan.

Nate decided to stay quiet any long would constitute voyeurism, so he clattered noisily down the stairs, calling Sara's name.

Within five minutes they were back on the Waverider, and Sara was striding confidently towards the bridge.

"Wait, Cap, you have a little -" He pointed to the smudge of flour on her chin. Sara just glared at him, wiping it off with the back of her hand. "Y'know, baking. That's pretty domestic." 

Sara rounded on him, finger pointed between his eyes. "You're the reason I don't get any brownies today. Don't test me."

Nate was tempted to say it was the magic-ometer that did this, or maybe they all collectively did this when they broke time, but he knew Sara could kill him in at least eight different ways with just that finger, and he decided not to push it.

//3\\\

The next time, Mick drew the short straw. He just shrugged. Everyone else breathed a sigh of relief - it was 10 pm outside the temporal zone, and no one wanted to think about what Sara was doing when she instructed them that on no account should she be disturbed that night.

He portalled into the upstairs hallway. All was quiet. He pushed the bedroom door open with a creak.

Sara and Ava were sat up in bed, fully clothed, reading. Ava had her arm around Sara, who was tucked into her shoulder. Both looked up when they saw Mick's shadow in the doorway.

Mick just stood, eyes wide. There was silence.

Sara shut her book dramatically. "What part of 'don't disturb me' do you guys not understand?"

//4\\\

It had been a case of wrong place, wrong time when John had been forced to go get Sara. Mick and Nate were having an extremely competitive arm wrestling match on the kitchen table, and the rest of the team had put down not insignificant amounts of money on who would win. Even Charlie was participating, yelling and swearing loudly in support of Mick.  
John had scoffed, and instead went to steal Sara's best whiskey, when the magic-ometer started to whir and spin. With no one else paying any attention, he sighed, and portalled into Ava's house.

It was dark and quiet - it must be around 2 or 3 am outside the temporal zone. John wandered into the kitchen, shoes making little sound on the wooden floors. He could see an outline by the kitchen sink.

"Evening, love."

The shape squealed, jolting violently, and John laughed, reaching towards the wall to turn on the light. Ava was stood in her pyjamas, glass of water in one hand, but most of the water was down her shirt. Her face was like thunder. Before he could say anything about late night wet t-shirt contests, he heard a crash. At the bottom of the stairs, Sara was stood, also in her pyjamas, her hands outstretched. She had a knife in each, and an expression that John was sure could kill on sight.

"What are you doing here?" She said, lowering the knives slightly.

John shrugged. "Magic whatsit went off, and the rest of the team weren't around, pet."

"And it couldn't wait until morning?" Ava said with a sigh. John just smirked.

"Didn't want you to miss out on the fun."

"Go back to the Waverider. I'll come back in the morning." Sara said firmly.

"What if I don't want to? I could stay, join in on the fun -"

"John Constantine, I will straight up cut you. Leave." Sara said, waving the knives slightly to emphasise her point. The smirk didn't leave his face.

"Offer's open, pet. Night." He said, winking at Ava, who just glared at him with such force John thought it was a miracle he didn't burst into flames. He sauntered away and opened up a portal in the hallway, but before he stepped through he heard a muffled -

"Just how many knives do you keep in your pyjamas?"

// 5 \\\

The magic detector pinged.

Everyone looked up.

It was 6 pm on a Tuesday, and Nate had just gotten off work, so had come by, and they were all playing cards on the floor of Sara's office, except Zari and Charlie, who said they were playing video games in Zari's room.

The magic detector pinged again, louder this time. Ray coughed and stood up. "Guess it's my turn to fetch Sara, huh.”

"You seem chill about this." Nate said, eyebrow raised, and Ray shrugged slightly. 

"It's only 6. They're probably eating dinner or something. I'll be back in a tick!" He said with a smile, before opening up the portal and stepping through.

He popped out in the dining room and stopped dead.

On the dining table, Ava was sat, head and chest thrown back. Her shirt was completely undone and halfway down her arms, and her bra was mostly off, exposing most of her chest. Her trousers were completely gone, and instead Sara was knelt on the bench, her head buried between Ava's thighs.

Ray slapped a hand over his eyes and let out a high-pitched noise.

"What the hell!" Ava yelled, slightly out of breath.

"Leave!" Sara said, almost at the same time.

"The magic -"

"Leave!" They said simultaneously, and Ray turned, created a portal, and left as quick as he could. Back on the Waverider, he opened his eyes to see his friends on the floor, still playing cards. He didn't move to re-join them.

"What's up bud? Where's Sara?" Nate asked, concern creeping into his voice. Ray just shook his head.

"What's -" Nate started but was interrupted by a laugh from Mick.

"You walked in on them, didn't you Haircut?"

Ray nodded and looked over to see Nate with a sympathetic smile, and Mick and John grinning widely. "I saw things I can't unsee." He whispered.

"Didn't Ava see you naked already? Now you're even." John said, still grinning.

Ray just shook his head. "I can never face them again."

Nate stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "C'mon bud, we'll get you a flasher -"

"Hasn't he been flashed enough today?" John interrupted, and Mick laughed, half at the joke, half at the way Ray's face scrunched in displeasure.

"- We'll get you the flasher. It's for the best." Nate said, patting his shoulder firmly.

//+1\\\

Two hours later, all the team were lounging on the bridge, when the familiar sound of a portal opening made them all look up. Ava stepped through, dressed in her bureau suit, hair a little wild and eyes wilder still. 

"Oh. Hey!" Ray said cheerily. Ava just glared at him, and pulled her phone from her pocket, holding it out.

"What's this?" She said, her tone dangerous.

"Phone." Mick grunted.

"Yes, Mr Rory. Do you all have one?" 

The Legends nodded, all except Charlie and John. "I used to design them!" Ray piped up. 

"Great! Now learn to use them!" The Director said, voice rising in pitch, before she turned on her heels and went back though the portal.

"What was that?" Zari said, after a moment of silence.

"I believe Director Sharpe was implying you should call before portalling into her home." Gideon said, with a hint of laughter in her voice. 

"Ohh." Zari muttered, and the rest of the team nodded. "Probably should've thought of that sooner."

"Why would we need to do that?" Ray asked, and Nate quickly pushed him into the hallway before Mick or John could gleefully explain.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to tumblr user truelittleblackstar for giving me the idea that the legends could just learn to use a phone 
> 
> thanks for reading?? check me out on tumblr i'm theangelwaverly


End file.
